I have spoken to a few individuals over the years about our wonderful rainbow families attitudes towards each other at times.
Sometimes some of us appear to forget the struggle we faced when coming to terms with our own sexuality. Forgetting the times when some of us felt like outcasts or “freaks”, forgetting the fact that everyone of us is different.
I often hear one group of the LGBTQIA community having arguments with another.
In the LGBTQIA community, we have different views on different issues, however, diversity should be embraced and accepted.
When in a bar early one night waiting for friends to arrive, talking to a trans female, a friend of a friend said to me in earshot of the lady, “what are you talking to that freak for?” which I replied “we are all freaks here my dear!”.
Truth is none of us are freaks! Truth is we are all individuals!
As a community that believes in equality, sometimes, some of us lack compassion and empathy amongst ourselves.
I wondered how the young guy would have felt if some straight guys saw him on his way into the bar and called him a freak.
It’s true that I am probably, to a certain extent, still in the category of trans-unaware. Slowly my knowledge is growing as all of us will if we modify our attitudes.
It also needs to be addressed the other way too. That is, we should not accuse people for being phobic towards any given group, simply because someone doesn’t understand the needs of another in a different group, yet showing no true signs of hatred.
We need to listen to each other more!
We need to make each other understand as we need to make the external homo-unaware understand.
Look at it this way.
We live in a house together with many rooms, we live in this house for a reason, each group will occupy a room and there may well be rooms that we are not aware of as yet.
There will be the obvious ones for the people who put themselves in certain groups, then others who don’t wish to be labelled, and that is fine.
The reason we live in this house together is to protect each other from the people outside the house that sometimes are against us. Imagine what it looks like to the neighbours when we argue internally. Just the same as the celebrity role models I have mentioned previously, we are all role models in our own way, to each other and the people outside looking in.
We need to show a little compassion and try to put ourselves in the others shoes.
A while back, a famous diver came out and then a few days later a Hollywood writer, who is also a member of the LGBT community, publicly ridiculed the diver’s boyfriend, on everything from the age gap to his taste in interior design – or the lack of it. Yet it really is no one elses business who someone lives with and loves, or how they live their life. Just the same as the person who wrote the comments would argue that his sexuality has nothing to do with the homophobes, we must learn to accept people for who they are even from within the same room of the house, accepting that as long as they are not hurting each other then all is well.
There is another ‘retired’ British diver who has become famous in Hollywood. He and his partner have roughly the same age gap as the younger diver and his boyfriend. It is blatant sexual discrimination when age gaps are ridiculed for some and not for others and perhaps a touch homophobic. In this author’s opinion, it should never be discriminated against period, just in the same vein as sexual preferences.
We never will understand the inner conflicts of others if we don’t make the effort to.
Another Hollywood star came out as gay and then suddenly made a U-turn and went back into the shadows, wishing not to be in the public eye. This star then got criticised by other gay people; it’s impossible to be in the minds of others and yet we seem to condemn others for their actions.
All this can also apply in our own lives too. It’s easy to condemn someone because you can’t understand why they do something, but we need to be more respectful and ask why. Furthermore, if you have issues with someone, discreetly talk to them and learn from them. This applies to both individuals trying to understand the other who is in another part of that house, or even someone who shares the same room as you do.
Going back to the house for a moment. In order to grow as a household and find ways around the issues that we have to face, we need to be united even more than we are at this moment in time.
People have been publicly attacked by other members of the LGBTQIA community because they fail to understand the other’s intentions; they impulsively look for reasons why others do things rather than try to ask discreetly. They have either publicly ridiculed them or talked amongst their friends about the others actions, rather than try to better understand. If they had taken the time to understand and communicate with each other in a respectful manner, maybe they would have been open to examining the ‘failings’ they had been ridiculed for.
If someone attacks you, they are only qualifying themselves as an enemy, yet someone who has probably had similar issues to yourself could potentially be an ally.
We need to show love, compassion, and understanding for each other.
Otherwise we have failed as an LGBTQIA community to accomplish what we set out to do. I am asking you to think, ponder and react instead of attacking and ultimately destroying each other; let’s grow and learn from our diversity and show each other a little respect.