Hi thanks for doing this interview with me. Could you first tell me how you identify yourself?
I’m more than happy to do it! Hello, I’m Roxy! I am an Aquarius, which I don’t get as I’m terrible at swimming!
My Gender Is MTF Transgender, and I’m on my long laborious road to becoming female. Along with that came sexuality changes from straight “male” to bisexual female. At present I’m right in the middle of my transition. It’s like being in limbo, or like being in the eye of the storm; Tornado Transgender!
When did you first begin to understand how you felt about your gender growing up?
It wasn’t until college that I researched and found out what ‘Gender Dysphoria’ was, up until that point I thought I was just weird.
I remember that I would wear my Mum’s high heels when I’d go out to the garden with her and we’d talk for hours about her relationships as well. I felt comfortable being like a girl. I suppose I knew I wasn’t gay as I fancied women, so that confused me. I got on with girls better growing up, and did Textiles and ChildCare in school and college, and I was the only “boy” in them.
The moment I found out there were more people like me was amazing, it lit up a dark part of my brain that had been closed off like a dusty office. Unfortunately, back then YouTube had almost no helpful videos on the subject. Thankfully the amount of information you can find online now is endless, and I’m striving to help others with my YouTube channel TheRoxyReport as that wasn’t there for me when I needed it.
I came out in 2011 to my step-brother, who laughed until he realised I was serious, and told me to tell my step-mum. She took it extremely well, and also took me to my local GP where they confirmed I wasn’t mad. That period was so refreshing as I could finally be myself around people, but it wasn’t enough. My Mum passed away in 2009 from cancer before I could tell her, so all that was left was the most important person in my life, my Dad!
I went online to buy a book that could ease my coming out called True Selves . It looked very professional so he had to believe me, right? One morning in November 2011 I was driving to work and I just lost it. Tears poured, and the world closed around me, I felt like I couldn’t take it anymore, I couldn’t keep lying to myself, or him!
I sped home faster than I should have, and entered the kitchen where my father eating his morning toast. He started going on about how I was reckless and putting my job at risk, so I walked to my room, grabbed the book, and slammed it on the table in front of him.
“Dad, I’m Transgender”
I had played this moment out in my head for years. It was so lacklustre, I had expected a band begin a fanfare and for him to clap, but I didn’t get that. He sat motionless with a piece of toast hanging out of his mouth for about ten minutes. I thought I broke him!
My Dad wasn’t clued up on anything LGBT at this point, and to have this thrown at him was a shock, to say the least. Thankfully, after a couple of weeks he started to talk about it with me, and now he is so accepting, and my driving force for my transition.
I saved the best for last; Grandmother!
I rang her up, and said quite solemnly “Hello, Nan. Can I see you? I have something to tell you.”
I got to the house with the great support of my now ex-fiancée, and spilled the beans. She looked at me and smiled.
“Thank God! I thought it was money you wanted!”
I understand that you live in the UK, how do you find issues in regards to Transphobia?
I currently live in the countryside, southern England – think Hazard County without the Duke Boys!
Here people don’t really know a lot about anything LGBT. In some ways, it’s great as British people tend to keep to themselves so no questions are ever asked, but you still get the odd mis-gendering. I’ve never had anything bad happen here apart from one time in Trowbridge where a group of chavs (uneducated people wearing tracksuits, and saying “innit” every other word) shouted
“tranny” out of a passing Vauxhall Corsa. They couldn’t even find a decent car to abuse me from. There are a lot more cases of Transphobia in the UK, mainly in big cities, which is a shame, and hopefully as it becomes more of a known thing, and people become more open, that will fade.
I have seen your YouTube channel and it’s awesome. Why did you start this and what impact does it have on others?
Thank you very much. TheRoxyReport was started in 2012 to document my transition from beginning to end, as I mentioned previously, the amount of Trans content back then was miniscule, so I was hoping I could help others like me.
Nowadays, I am still pushing the biggest topics from outing Transphobic YouTubers, fighting for equality, and talking about tough subjects like depression, sex, and anxiety. One of my biggest achievements was taking on a 2 million subscriber channel JoeyFreakingSalads, after he made some very demeaning Transgender “prank” videos. I fought hard, and tried to clear up misconceptions he made in his video like “if you don’t look feminine enough, you may as well not bother!”
He viewed my video, had it copyright striked (which is illegal), and I fought back and got my video back up! It’s small victories that can make the difference. I’ve had many people come to me over the years asking for advice on coming out, and I’ve helped in any way I can. Recently a mother of a person that had come out as Transgender contacted me for advice, which blew my mind. I’m hoping if, or when, I leave YouTube that I’ve made a meaningful mark.
That is a great goal to have! We need to stick together to fight injustice and the stigma that looms over our community.
The more we fight, the more our message is heard. The more we explain, the less people who hate on us will have to use against us. Misconception and non-understanding are the main issues, and I can see that we are taking strides to a better future even in the last five years there have been leaps and bounds in progression, from gay marriage to Transgender actors!
Be strong, and know you aren’t weird, or different!
Thank you for doing this interview. I always ask at the end what message would you like to leave our readers with?
It’s my pleasure, it’s been fun!
Dear readers… Hello! *waves*
A man walks into a bar.
If you smiled, I’m doing my job! You’re amazing, and you will do great things, and if in doubt, watch kitten videos on YouTube, it never fails to make me smile!.
You can check out Roxy’s channel